I saw my death…

I saw my death in his grey hair,
unsteady gait. It held me there
and shook me as if I cared less.
But I did care …but won’t confess.

I saw my death – his weakened sight,
drawing the skin in folds. Delight
did jitter once, past eyes, in haste,
to memories …such sweet re-taste.

I saw my death – the calloused skin
and weathered face receding in
disturbingly, as if the cold
had found the bone and taken hold.

I saw my death not once but twice -
the first I found not quite so nice.
But on a second glance appeared
this other death; a death – unfeared?

I saw my death, this final time,
across his seat. A boy but nine
or ten, beside dad. Toe to chin.
Such simple plans in death. Begin!

customs etc.

Canada/US customs is starting to give me a little grief lately. I have an eBay shipment that has been stuck there for a week already (Applecare for my lappy) …which I need kinda soon. I also sent a bunch of new song stuff to the Library of Congress …and that too is taking a while to arrive. I recently placed an order from CDBaby as well …hopefully that doesn’t meet with the same issues.

I am entirely convinced that anybody who wants to drive in Alberta should take a winter driving/training course …and this should be mandatory! Usually it’s bearable. You get the odd person driving around with two hands clenched to the wheel thinking they’re about to fall of the face of the earth or something (as Chuck would say). Not this winter though. All drivers (slow and fast) should learn how their vehicle reacts to the conditions they’re in. Here’s some advice …go to an abandoned parking lot or something late at night and drive in the snow. Learn what it does and doesn’t do, how it reacts, how fast you can or can’t stop, where your best traction is etc., then go out driving on the streets. Ignorance, and the excuse “it’s winter”, just don’t cut it – especially since winter’s almost over already!

The Edmonton Sun had some thoroughly entertaining letters to the editor the other day. One reader, for example, says …”I can’t believe anyone still falls for the global warming propaganda by the Green activists. Is there any indication of a warming trend on the horizon? If so, when will that happen?” I can’t bring myself to comment on this, but the Sun editor could …and with all the finesse that of course marks the Edmonton Sun as the, well – paper that it is. To be fair however, they do represent a great section of Edmontonian opinion. Lucky me.

On a happy note, all my rehearsals for this week were cancelled, 3 of them …yea! Sometimes this is a good thing kids, considering that occasionally you don’t really learn anything when you rehearse. If you enjoy watching other people learn things, then that might be seen as fun!? Or maybe not.

Lol, no …definitely not.

loving you

A new song kids.  It’s about fast cars, drugs, rock and/or roll and how friggin cold it still is (and is gonna be for the next week!) around here.  Click below for instant gratification, or go the the ‘Music -New’ page (using the above tabs) for the complete low-down.

winter and stuff

Here’s what I like about it being really cold …everybody wimps out. It was -20 something today and I thought it’d be a great time for a jog. And it was! The only problem I really had was the first .5 km – I thought my glasses wouldn’t fog up too bad with my mask, but that wasn’t the case. If you know me, then you’ll know that I’m pretty blind without them, so the rest of the run was kinda in the dark – shapes were fine, the general outline of the trail was there too, but as for any little details …forget it. Blind as a bat.

It was nice though. Eerily quiet too. The other thing I like about it being really cold is that the City of Edmonton doesn’t salt their streets. I think that’s the case for any temperature below -13, which is a good thing because I absolutely HATE walking/driving/getting around when the little snow we have has been turned into brown slush. It’s actually worse for driving, BAD for the environment, and takes away any feeling of what winter should be like. We got a relatively big dump of snow too, so that whitens things up nicely.

The sad thing about today is that I had to do the laundry thing …and my regular laundromat burned down a few weeks ago. That sucked. I had been going there for years …it was big, clean, bright, always looked after and it was right by the 7-11. So now I had to find someplace else. I did. It sucked. No place to really sit, hardly any windows (the other place had huge windows that made you feel like you were outside), strange people (lol), kids running around, not a lot of dryers (I wash my clothes at home and only need to dry them – in winter that is) and the people/owners weren’t too friendly. But it’s done. I’m all squeaky clean for the next week or two.

I’m almost ready to record some vocals for a song that I’ve been working on for Tailored Music. It’s cheesy folks, so consider yourself warned. I’ll get it up hopefully within the next day or so.

lunges are good

I never do a lot of legs, usually because I don’t have enough ‘heavy’ equipment (legs need weight and I only have so much weight in my little basement) and also because I think I run/bike enough that I don’t need to. Rather, don’t need to do toooo much, that is. But the nice thing about leg work is the spinoff to other body parts. Anytime you do squats, for example, you’re using your back, mid-section, torso and even arms and shoulders to some degree – and this is why squats are considered one of those fundamental exercises for almost any fitness routine.

But lunges are good too. I can tell the day after, especially in the butt, that I was doing something good. Of course the hams/quads benefit as well – and it’s a great stretching movement for those who are ‘flexibility challenged’ …like myself. But yeah, yesterday was legs and triceps – which has usually been my typical day ‘3′ out of three. The first day is chest and biceps while the second is back and shoulders. Yes, abs get thrown in as a superset every second ‘day’ or so too – ditto for traps. It’s a three day program, done weekly (usually), and each body part is typically given 2 different exercises …anywhere from 12 down to 3-4 reps. Minimum 4 sets for each exercise as well.

But yeah – lunges are good. Lol, did I say that already! I’ll have to make a mental note to do them more often. And, as I mentioned earlier, try to post more posts about exercise/fitness stuff. I’m sure most people don’t want to hear it …but I’m also sure it’s something most people should pay more attention to as well. Now I’ll get off your back.

Image from ‘Weight Lifting Workout Routines’

two of seven

And we all file in…

Not the most talkative bunch I have to admit. Most are elderly. I suppose I am as well – but I don’t mean my elderly, but rather ‘elderly’. Is it money? That’s my excuse, but is it fair for me to presume the same of others? Probably not. But that’s what I’ll do none the less. There’s a small ‘play house’ stuffed away in the corner with 3 funny looking orange chairs – straight out of an old ‘Lost In Space’ episode …except colorized. Is this corner for the kids? And if so, what kids? I’m sure I’ve been here enough to have recalled a small person in the room …what with their talking, running about, or even playing in that house and all. But I don’t! It’s the ‘KEEBEE play system’, and I think it’s safe to say it’s hardly been used. Maybe that’s a good thing though. I wouldn’t envy the kid in here – as ‘kidish’ as they are, they don’t deserve to be here.

May you forever R.I.P. ‘KEEBEE play system’.

one of seven

There’s no pressure, I tell myself. Of course, taking advice from yourself is not the most constructive way to deal with a situation. It is a way. It’s not a great way. If I had someone to reassure me that I was correct, someone to ‘butter up’ those doubts that linger beside me, hanging around like an unwanted meme. That might help. Maybe. The doubts have always been there though, like an extra limb. And like a normal limb I’ve exercised them regularly, treated them no differently from the others who actually deserve the exercise. Yet perhaps doubts deserve as well. Who am I to decide what is needed anyway. If my body feels them helpful, so be it. You can’t argue with your body. Right? You can’t. It’s who you are. Disguised or not, it’s with you for life.

imagination, creativity

I’ve been thinking about the whole Second Life thing lately, and I have to wonder what it is about our ‘imagination’. It seems to be necessary for everything we do …isn’t it? And if it’s not – shouldn’t it be? I’m wondering …why does one need to escape from the ‘real world’ …sort of. But then, as M mentioned in this post, you also escape through other means that are far less controversial …TV for example. Why stop there though, what about books? Watching movies? Listening to music? Even taking a bus tour in a remote land …stopping only occasionally to get out and smell the air?

I never go on holidays. I’ve gone on a few, about 10-15 years ago now, but most of my ‘excursions’ away from home typically happen on gigs …usually in the mountains or to other larger cities. Here’s the thing about these trips though – I NEED to check the place out when I’m there, and I’m not talking about the people or the ‘man-made’ attractions or the hot spots for shopping etc. What I’m checking out, typically, is the land. It’s shape, smell, look – and when I look at buildings and other man-made items, I’m usually more interested in ‘why’ it’s there – as opposed to it just being there. Seeing what it’s made from, how it’s made etc. I’d rather go and hang out with some locals, to just see their normal way of life, than have to stop at all the ‘hot’ spots that a city has to offer. I don’t mind some of the ‘activities’ – but only when it’s something I haven’t experienced before …and I find most of the ‘touristy’ things to be pretty cliche. The funny thing is, and you might think I’m a little sheltered because of this, but I can find something exciting without really having to leave my own town! Is that strange?

Back to imagination though …I do ‘fantasize’. I think I do, that is. But not a whole lot. I know that people are boring – lol, generally, and I know that whenever I read, see, listen …sense anything that someone else created, I understand it was created by a regular person – kinda like me …boring! I know that whatever they have created, they’ve done so, most likely, for the very same reasons I find myself creating. Of course different experiences bring about different creations, but the process, or rather the reason for the process, has to be somewhat similar …doesn’t it? And this finally leads to the point of my rant…

What stimulates the creative process that people go through to be creative? What do you hear that makes you compose, see that makes you paint, observe that makes you write? What do you feel that makes you want to create? I’m wondering if most, or at least a good part, of inspiration stems from your interactions with real world activities? That is to say, the ‘real world’ stimulates your imagination. Can that be said? Contrary to that, your imagination would have to be based on your imagination …which to me seems rather weird. It would be like you lived in a box – and any experience you gain, emotion you feel etc., would be relegated to that ‘inner’ world of yours …never to be touched by the real world. Certainly you can argue that this ‘imagination circle’ might possibly stimulate others …but then you could only observe this (and take pride in it) by stepping out into real life, so to speak. If you completely internalized imagination, then any outside connection (for support or peer acknowledgment, emotional release etc.) defeats its purpose. So, can you live totally within your imagination? No, I don’t think so.

Creativity has to be based on the real world …that is, what you sense (we’re talking sight, sound, touch, taste and smell) and not on anything else. Sure, other ‘non-real’ things can stimulate your creative process, but once your process is underway, its release has to be in reality, and because of this, its core has to be based on/from the same. As much as we can imagine, and I feel many of us can do so greatly, I feel we limit ourselves without having a way to transfer …maybe ‘transpose’, that imagination into our actual lives.

And after all, if an imagination imagines in a forest, does anybody care?

itroy troncon – Image from Second Life

mcdonald’s feeds the…

mcdonald’s feeds the mind,
fashion feeds the soul,
somewhere in between collides
the sum of all we know.

escape is more than wanting,
contentment; never lasts.
a generation claims success
yet failure’s never past.

a waxwing’s taste is sudden,
and startled is the tree -
so there behind, its berries lay
discarded – errantly.

my boy, Wilder

My World Vision package came in the mail today …and my little sponsored child is a boy by the name of Wilder. He’s from Honduras, so I’m thinking that’s a pretty sweet deal in the event I want to vacation down there or something. It lists his favorite subject as drawing, which is nice, and his main chore is ‘Running Errands’. This of course concerned me as I figured he might be a drug mule or something, but I figure I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt considering he’s only 6 years old. Still, six would be the best time to train as a drug mule. They’re still innocent looking and would be pretty quiet if you threatened them enough. He looks fairly lanky, so he’s got that going for him as well. Drug lords like their mules to be lanky for some reason – that’s what the internet says at least. My package also says that I can communicate with him via mail, and the first thing I think I’ll send him is a picture of my old car, telling him that it’s his if he wants it. I know he’s six, but I figure he could park it in that back field and impress his buddies by hanging out in the thing …maybe turn it into a fort of some type. Kids like forts …especially ones built from old yellow Geo Storms. Later on I’ll send him a picture of me hanging out at McDonalds chewing down on a Big Mac meal. If I know him as well as I do, I’m sure he’ll get a kick out of that. It says that his Mother stays at home to take care of the family, which means that he’s got some brothers or sisters or something – maybe I’ll send them all a picture of me at McDonalds? I’ll blow it up and tell them to set a place for me at the table and then put my picture where my chair is. That’d be cool. Kids like McDonalds. After another few months I’d expect him to send me some of his drawings. They better be pretty damn good too if he lists it as his favorite subject. If he sends me some ‘color in the lines’ crap I’m gonna flip out at him, ask him “Where the hell’s that money going to that I keep doling out for your art lessons! You call that a drawing?” That’ll smarten him up in a hurry. Kids like to be smartened up sometimes. They gave me a wallet sized picture – for my wallet I guess. Instead, I’m gonna hang it in my car, reminding me that I’m passing up a Slurpee everyday for this kid. I might go out and get one anyways …maybe take a picture of that too – send it to him on one of those hot days or something. Heck, I’ll even pass along a ‘Big Buck’ that he can redeem at any 7-11. Kids like Slurpees – right?

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In closing, here’s a nice blurb from the back of my sponsorship package….

“As followers of Jesus, we are motivated by God’s love to serve all people regardless of race, religion, gender and ethnicity. We are motivated by our Christian faith to serve those in need, but we are respectful of and sensitive to other beliefs, faiths and cultures. We are aware that many of our partners – children, communities and child sponsors – may belong to diverse faith groups. And we consider it a privilege to work in these communities, with these children and with our sponsors. Our goal is to follow Jesus’ example in reaching out to the poor and those treated unjustly. And in doing so, children and families may see our faith in action.”

Jesus must of had a sense of humor too …c’mon.